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A body is not just a physical structure made of bones and flesh. A body has a throbbing soul that is tender, gentle, naïve just like a child, it likes to be loved and not punished or harmed. The body needs to be respected and worshipped just like a goddess when it isn’t it shatters into a million pieces, steals away your identity and pushes you into a dark cell of questionable state where you often ask yourself ‘’ why did it happen to me? ‘’ Did I do something wrong?’’.

Consent in simple terms is that you are not permitted to touch my body or any of its part without my permission. It is my body, it is my belonging, it has my soul, and it has my life living in it. You being my husband or even my boyfriend do not have a license to touch it without seeking for my approval. You might have my heart but you do not own me like your property.

In the lifelong age women often face one of these problems in their life ranging from minor who includes staring, eve teasing, groping and touching while major would range from sexual assault, sexual harassment at work place, marital rape and rapes in general. Where women are often told by mothers that she should ignore the minor assaults and be grateful that none of major assaults have happened. if we dare to agitate or speak against it we are slammed by saying ‘’ Do not create a scene’’, ‘’Are you seeking attention?’’ ‘’ if you react that boy will seek revenge’’ ‘’ why are you wearing such clothes?’’ ‘’ that area is not for girls to go’’ ‘’ good girls do not remain out for too long’’

The society only slams and blames the women often asking her to shut her mouth and walk with her eyes all leveled down, when one ignores these minor problems it takes a shape of extreme form as the person feels that he has the key to hamper every girls consent and often turn out to be rapist in years ahead. The Indian society teaches its children every basic mannerism, values and morals yet fails to teach them the logic of good touch vs. Bad touch often avoiding the topic as they feel ‘’ oh come on as if it will happen to my child, I mean they are protected here’’ and often the same child is molested by relatives of the family not knowing what is happening to them. When they try to tell their parents, well parents shush them off by saying its okay, do not tell anyone. This shatters them emotionally, psychologically and mentally. Their childhood is killed right in front of them, murdered and broken down by their own family. Their self esteem gets hampered, they live in constant fear and later in years fail to develop trust.

Unfortunately the society is turning more and more unsafe for women, where women have to keep so many things in mind before stepping out of the house, what future holds for her is something unknown. This tragic heinous has taken a wild form when High court in Mumbai ruled out a statement that skin to skin contact with sexual intention would amount to a sexual assault. This often puts me into the question of the kind of society I want my children to grow up in. where are we heading towards? and if this is change then it is definitely dark and husky.

Jainandinidevi Gohil

15 comments on “NO MEANS NO”

  1. Very well explained , awareness is needed and thos is possible only through education. I appreciate your views and thought.

  2. Exactly..this is the main problem of our society..just sit at home and passing comments just like noting has happened…today it is one girl but the next might be anyone..
    Very beautiful ma’am…each and every word is describing the pain and rights which should be given to girls…very strengthful words..!

  3. Absolutely true . I agree with you because the silence and ignorance by females is itself encouraging others to harrass them. So it’s time to say No means no. 👍🏻👍🏻

  4. Along with the usual manners like eating with right hand or to wash hands after using bathroom, behaviour towards opposite gender should be taught and practiced from the early age, that as per my understanding will build a better society where all ppl will take care of the privacy, protection and someone’s feelings and won’t harm each other, I so wish that we should have a better society, well written Ms. Gohil kudos to you

  5. Women are marginalised from very beginning. “We are blessed n grateful to have freedom to speak and do whatever we want to” these lines always puts me in dilemma that is “freedom” arbitrary? Why should anyone be grateful for freedom that is fundamental right of human being. Touching anyone should not be ok in any manner then why we need any law for that. Why there is not any law for men because it is very basic that touching is not okay without consent irrespective of gender.

    Your writings are always inspiring so keep enlighten us with your thought provoking words.

  6. Our Indian society needs to change their mindset. Its upto we,girls what do we want to wear we are not answerable to anyone,people have no rights to judge us. Your posts always inspire!!!

  7. Amazing writing Jini , liked every bit of it, harsh & brutal reality of the society & certainly agree with u completely that it has to stop & no one should be permitted to cross boundary without consent be it for a girl or a boy. Families, parents relatives need to equally educate the boys as to maintain the sanctity & decorum while interacting with girls & nothing should be taken for granted.

  8. Respect YES
    Respect NO
    It’s a tragedy to see women in this condition in a country which is known to worship Nav Durga

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